


George & the Blue Meanie

by Editor7



Category: The Beatles
Genre: Blue Meanies, Weird Humor, Yellow Submarine, mini meanie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 17:04:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Editor7/pseuds/Editor7
Summary: After the premiere of Yellow Submarine, everyone is ready for a nice after party. Except George. George has other plans.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Well...this is definitely an unusual one. As of now, this is the only one-shot of its kind I'm writing, so of course I'm nervous abt the feedback. The one that comes closest to it is "Froggy Throat" except this one is weirder and just...me throwing words out. Oh, well. Read this silly little story

"So...why was it called Yellow Submarine?"

"Because we were in a yellow submarine for half the movie, John," Ringo explained. "You fell asleep or something, didn't you?"

"Nuh-uh..."

"Well, I enjoyed that film..." Paul commented. "But I think I looked rather silly in it."

"What? Did you see that cartoon you?" Yoko piped up. "Those artists got every imperfection down pat, I say."

Paul gave her a look. "I was referring to my acting. But thanks for that."

John turned to her and said, "Now you've made him feel bad."   
His tone was evidence that he didn't mean much by it, though.

"Oh, sorry," Yoko gave a little wave. "But that's just an art thing. Even if they meant to make you look ugly."

Paul was about to say something he would regret, but bit his tongue. "What did you think of the film, George, wasn't it neat? ...George?"

The entire group did a 180.

Against the hallway wall stood a life-sized figure of one of Chief Blue Meanie's minions. George stood gazing upon it as some onlookers took photos of him.

"Georgie?" Paul called him again. "Aren't you coming to the after party with us?"

George still didn't respond.

"No reply~," John joked in a singsong voice. Then he had a coughing fit. "Ow."

Ringo nudged Pattie. "Go on, then. Get your man."

"Hmph." 

Pattie separated from the group and elbowed her way through the photographers.

Then she reached out and touched George's hand.

"Huh? Oh, yes, Pattie?" George spoke as though he'd just woken up.

"Won't you come with the rest of us?" she asked.

George stole a glance back at the blue meanie. "...I'll be joining you soon."

"Well, okay. Please don't dally, I'll get lonesome," she said before leaving him be.

Pattie told the others what George had said and they didn't think much of it. They figured he just had to use the bathroom after holding it the whole movie. So, off they went to the after party.

Several hours later...

"How could Jane do me like this?" slurred Paul. "What have I ever done to her?"

"Pretty sure she caught you in bed with another woman," supplied Ringo.

"Pretty sure your hairline is receding," Paul shot back. He sipped his drink, spilling a bit on his chin. 

"Well, what about that girl you brought along with you?" John reminded him. "Uh, uh, Jenny?"

"Eh," Paul shrugged. "...I gotta crap. Johnny, take me to the crapper."

"No, man."

"RINGO!" exclaimed Pattie.

"Oww!" Ringo put a hand over his ear. "What's the yelling for?"

"I've been trying to tell you for forever now! George still isn't here!" She switched to a sweet disposition. "Be a dear and go see what he's up to."

"But I just got comfortable," Ringo wiggled in his seat. "And I hardly find it fair that I ha--"

"Okay, who should be the one to go get George?" Pattie asked the group. "I vote Ringo."

John and Yoko nodded. "Ringo."

Paul hiccuped. "Ringo."

Maureen raised a hand. "Ringo."

Ringo covered his heart. "Et tu, Maureen?"

"It's unanimous. Ringo," Pattie pointed at him. "Get my man."

"Fine, fine," Ringo squeezed himself away from the table. "I'll be right back. I hope."

His first stop was the bathroom. After all, George had been having some...bowel issues. However, he didn't find him there.  
His second stop was the theater. Perhaps George liked the movie so much, he'd gone back to watch it a second time. However, he didn't find him there.

Ringo stopped to catch his breath. "Think, think, think...what would Mrs. Starkey say? ...if you lose something--or in this case, someONE--return to the last place you saw it."

Then Ringo remembered the blue meanie statue and raced back to it.  
There, he found George holding one of its giant hands, and a single photographer remaining from the crowd earlier. She snapped a photo and walked away.

"Good ol' Mother," Ringo muttered before addressing George. "Geo, what are you still doing here? Your wife is worried! Well, not really worried, more like...full of rage."

"Won't you look at him, Ringo?" George kept his eyes on the blue meanie. He rubbed its hand. "Really, look at him. He understands."

"What...?"

George finally faced the drummer. "I'm not leaving him, Ringo."

"Georgie, are you high?"

"Not yet," George murmured, embracing the statue.

Ringo patted his shoulder sympathetically. "You know, they're going to take him away eventually. Once they start playing another film here, the theater can't just keep him standing around."

"Then I'll follow him. Wherever he goes."

"What if they disassemble him? You know, tear him apart."

"I know what 'disassemble' means. And I won't let them do that to him."

"But what about Pattie?"

"She'll understand."

"Well, what about me?"

"I'll send you postcards from wherever I end up."

"No, I mean, what do you think Pattie will do to me when I tell her you left her for a statue? I'd rather keep my willy, thanks."

"You'll live without it. Half the population already does."

"Hoo, boy..." Ringo pinched the bridge of his nose. "George. You're missing out on the food..."

"...what kind of food?"

"I ordered curry for you. From the buffet. But hey, if you don't want any..."

George let out a sigh. He kissed the blue meanie on the nose. "Goodbye, love."

"You love him?"

"Yeah..." George took Ringo's hand. "But I love you and Pattie and curry more."

"Aww. Look, I'll get my camera, and before we leave, I'll take a picture of you with him, so you'll always remember this beautiful little...event."

"I'd like that very much."

"And what did you think of the movie?"

"It was beautiful."


End file.
